There are so many things that can disrupt your peace, cloud your day, and steal your joy. However, YOU shouldn’t be one of those things. Don’t be your own buzz kill. Cut out all the punishing self-talk that makes you feel bad about who you are and where you are in life. In this post we’re talking about how to stop stealing our own joy!
Comparison Is The Thief of Joy
I feel like this topic needs it’s own post, but I’ll keep it cute for the sake of what we’re talking about today. I have a few favorite bloggers that I love and sometimes I question the progress of my blog when looking at theirs. I always have to make a conscious effort to take a step back and remember that I cannot compare my beginning to their middle. I know that I’m not alone and I understand how, with social media, we can easily get caught up in comparing ourselves and our lives to who/what other people “post” to be. I’ve said this in a previous post and I meant it; if you are following someone who makes you feel depressed, insecure, or envious – do yourself a favor and unfollow them. Do not subject yourself to those feelings. Follow people who motivate and encourage you to become who you desire to be. Comparisons only lead to envy and in all honesty, THAT is the true thief of joy. Compare your today with your yesterday instead of your weakness with someone else’s strength. Focus on you; it’s always YOU VS. YOU.
Ain’t Nothing Like Being In Love… With Yourself
If you don’t know how, loving yourself is really f*****g hard! But, under no circumstances should we depend on others to love us in order to define who we are and how we feel. I remember a time when I did not know or understand what self love looked like, felt like, sounded like, or consisted of. And now that I know, I never want to go back to the feelings of when I didn’t put myself first or when I depended on others for my happiness. I know from experience that when we don’t love ourselves first, we try to fill the void by seeking it from other individuals, substances, and experiences. I’ve learned that everything in your life streams from your relationship with yourself. Spend time telling yourself that you are worthy instead of inhibiting your own potential by being your own worst critic. Forgive yourself for mistakes that you’ve made, stop replaying embarrassing moments in your head, and understand that your flaws only add to your beauty. When you are self validated the validation, or lack thereof, from other people will not have an impact on your happiness.
It’s Okay To Not Be Perfect
I hate the fact that our culture puts so much pressure on us to be perfect – from having perfectly shaped bodies, to not making a certain amount of money, to feeling like you don’t have enough followers and in turn not enough likes, to not feeling like you don’t know enough people, and so much more. When surrounded by so many influences that make you feel like trash you forget about the things that you have accomplished, you forget to appreciate the things that you do have, and you forget about the uniqueness of yourself. This may sound strange coming from a virgo, but it’s true. Aiming for perfectionism will make you feel little compared to anyone you view as better than you. It’s an overrated phenomenon that’s unachievable. Stop wondering when you will be enough or when what you do will be enough. Perfectionism is primarily a thing when you look to others to validate your worth and that just makes it harder for you to build a stronger sense of self. Take time to appreciate who you are and what you bring to the table, regardless of what or where that table is. Make improvements where you see fit, but do not drive yourself into the ground trying to be perfect. Failure happens and mistakes are made, but they are necessary for us to grow, learn, and succeed. Throw all of that perfect B.S. out of the window because that only creates stressful environments and situations that ultimately leave you feeling unhappy or dissatisfied.
Focus On The Good
In the presence of situations do you choose to see the upside or the downside? Are you an optimist or a pessimist? How you view the world, your life, your self, and others is a choice. Stop unconsciously and consciously focusing on the negative because all it does is suck the life out of you. A positive perspective can shift your entire view about a situation and even a person. Story time: A few days ago, I accidentally drove up on a curb. I messed up my tire and a side part on my car broke off that couldn’t be put back on (no I wasn’t on my phone, the curb was confusing). I had to get a new tire and was a bit upset about the whole situation, especially since I was on my way to a work meeting. At one point, I could literally feel the anger and negativity slowly seeping through my body, but I knew that I couldn’t afford to be pissed off for the rest of the day. So, I shifted my thoughts immediately and started searching for the “well at least…” part of the story. Lucky for me, the incident happened right in front of a tire shop so it was a quick and easy fix (the tire). “Well at least I didn’t have to call a tow truck.” After getting the tire fixed, the tire guy says to me “good thing that happened because your old tire was bald,” and start listing out other things that could have happened as a result of having a bald tire. “Well at least this happened when I actually needed a new tire.” I start thinking about any and everything relating to the difference between what happened versus what could have happened especially since I had a bad tire. Thirty minutes later I was in a work meeting in the same great mood that I was in when I woke up that morning. Focus on the good in your life, in situations, and in people so that you can stop stealing your own joy by way of negativity.
