LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING… To be 20-something years old and unsure of what you want to do with your life is not uncommon. There are many people who can relate to feeling lost in their 20’s. I can confidently say that I get about one message per week from someone stating that they admire me for knowing what I want to do with my life. They then proceed to say how they too wish they were certain about their career, goals, and future. Every message is different, but I assure you that my response is ALWAYS the same. I simply tell them all, IT IS OKAY!
It’s true! It’s okay to feel lost in your 20’s. Let me give you an example of why I feel this way. Every time I go to a new city I intentionally get lost. This is a learned behavior from my mother who taught me that the key to finding your way is not being afraid of getting lost. Of course, this was in the sense of learning a city or community, but it’s absolutely applicable to your life.
See… when you get lost, you’re forced to explore. This leads to you knowing one (or multiple) paths that lead you to a final destination. I read one time that “explorers have a general sense of where they are going, but they don’t necessarily have a map leading them.” Putting things into perspective, you have a general sense of what success looks like to you, feels like to you, etc. You only lack the path that you will take to get there. Again, something that does not need to be understood in your 20-somethings.
It’s safe to say that we all want to create noise in the world. Meaning that we want to have an impact or feel purposeful in one way or another. Getting lost gives you more room to wander and allows you to grow through an exploratory phase that you’ll appreciate in the future. The Lion King is the perfect example. Simba had to get lost and go explore before he was led to his true purpose.
In my opinion, there are two things that are important in your 20’s, especially if you are feeling lost. Those things are: (1) knowing what you do and don’t want out of life on a very broad level (e.g., Do you want to be comfortable, wealthy, or filthy rich? Is it important for you to build a legacy? What about generational wealth? Retirement?); and (2) are you continue working towards gaining skills, knowledge, contacts, resources, and funds that can be utilized further down the road? Understand that not knowing what you want to do with your life is one thing. Not being ready for your season is another.
One of my favorite bloggers, Courtney Brand, made an amazing point on her IG story one day. She reposted a meme that said, “Lord whatever you did for Popeyes, please don’t do it for me,” or something like that. She then went on to say, “why would you want that? Popeyes wasn’t ready for what came their way. When it’s your season, you want to be ready for it.” Maybe she didn’t say it exactly like that, but you get the point!
Here’s my last example: One day I went biking at Buffalo Bayou in Houston. It was all fun and games until it was 10 minutes until sunset, my phone was on 5%, and I couldn’t find which part of the trail I entered, which is also where I parked. I couldn’t remember street names, but I could remember that I rented my B-cycle from station 11. With limited amount of battery juice, I had to download the app, locate the station, and figure out where I was in relation to it. With 1% left to spare, LewiV and I found our way out. It took me getting lost, using that path on the trail, to find that I no longer want to use that route to get to my final destination (cardio workout).
So before you beat yourself up about feeling lost, know that you are not alone and know that it is completely okay to feel this way. It’s actually more normal than you think. Continue growing and it will all make sense sooner rather than later.