I haven’t always known what I wanted to do with my life, but I’ve always had an idea about the type of person, or rather the type of woman, I’ve wanted to become. I didn’t always know what type of woman that was, but it is through self-reflection where I discovered who she is and what she looks like. I discovered how she shows up for herself and for others; what she looks like on good days and bad days; the things she values and prioritizes in her life. I began reflecting on my days, my interactions with others, how I contributed negatively to situations, etc. I would intentionally analyze parts of myself that I didn’t like and would seek feedback from others about specific aspects of myself that I believed I could improve on. Setting an intention about learning who I am and how I can make myself better has helped me become the woman I’ve always wanted to be and will continue to help me work towards the woman I still want to become.
In a previous blog post, I talk about how it’s important for you to know where you’re going even if you don’t know which route you’ll take. I didn’t always know how, but I’ve always known I’ve wanted multiple streams of income by the age of 30 (building generational wealth through entrepreneurship). I knew I wanted a stable job that I loved and be in positions where I could lead and create opportunities for others (impactful leadership). I knew I wanted to be able to financially assist my family and close friends in times of need (financial security). I knew I wanted to be able to go to the spa, book a trip, or buy endless mimosas without having to second guess my spending (discretionary income).
For me, when I keep my end destination in mind I am able to think clearly about what it will take for me to get there. Using the example from the blog post I mentioned above, there are many routes to get to Dallas, TX from Houston, TX. Some may take longer than others, but at least I know where I’m headed. The route may change along the way, but at least I know how I’m getting there. Maybe it’s by car, by bus, plane, or bike. So, while we may not know the path, we know our desired destination and we know that consistency, discipline, integrity, confidence, and self-motivation are some of our vehicles to get to where we want to be.
The thing about self-reflection and how it plays a major role in all of this is that we have to be honest with ourselves. We have to take time to ask ourselves hard questions and be willing to be honest about who we are and what we need to improve on whether it’s weekly, monthly, quarterly, or annually. There’s a saying, “what’s true will continue to exist.” That means, no matter how you look to everyone else, at your core you’ll continue to be the person you allow. Whether lazy, mean-spirited, a bad friend, a procrastinator, pessimistic or inconsistent those things don’t change within you unless you want them to change. I learned that somewhere along the way and it has helped me grow tremendously. I hope that it helps you too!!
I’m sharing a few questions I use to guide myself through self-reflection. Let me know which ones are best for you!
11 Self-Reflection Questions to Get To Know Yourself Better
- What matters most in my life? What are 3 things that matter most to me?
- What am I holding on to that I need to let go of?
- What can my most aggressive judgements of others tell me about myself?
- What are 3 things I do daily to I challenge myself to become better version of myself?
- What are some positive aspects of my life this year that look different than last year? What contributed to that growth? How can I continue to capitalize on this?
- What do I really wish others knew about me? What’s stopping them from knowing?
- What are 3 things I’ve learned from my biggest mistakes?
- What are 10 things I’d like to say no to?
- Does my daily routine reflect my long-term goals?
- What do I do to avoid discomfort?
- What are a few painful experiences I swore I’d never get past? How did I get past them?
