A Different Perspective – Valentine’s Day

When most people think of Valentine’s Day, they think of it in a relational way. They think about their #ValentineBae, chocolate covered strawberries, and a dozen roses. They think of ways to show their love (or the love that they have) for their significant other or spouse. It becomes Singles’ Awareness Day for singles and we can’t help but to be bombarded by romantic comedies, heart-shaped everything’s, and endless #relationshipgoal pictures on Instabook (Instagram & Facebook). Side pieces come to the realization that they are not important and singles have anxiety-filled thoughts about the fact that we may actually be single forever (or is that just me?).

The truth of the matter is that the holiday is corny. Well, at least the surface level meaning behind it is anyways. I’m not saying that because I’m single but because, what real relationship shows the love that they have for their bae on one particular day? It’s true, Valentine’s Day is a commercialized marketing machine, but I cannot deny the excitement that I feel towards a day dedicated to love. Love is beautiful, why not celebrate it? However, the real question is: why only celebrate one aspect of it?

About 3-4 years ago, I shifted the way I thought about Valentine’s Day. I began calling it “the love season” and would make it a point to show love to myself, my friends, and my family (especially those who were single). If 2018 taught me nothing else it for sure taught me to love people, to hug people, and to give people their flowers while they are still present on earth with us. And while this shouldn’t be an act done only on Valentine’s Day, it can certainly be a jumpstart into the new year for what can and should become a habitual act of appreciation for self and others.

This “love season” I challenge you to focus on all aspects of love and not just the romantic, intimate, and relational love. Get lost in the things and people that you love, even if that means yourself. Be intentional throughout the love season to show love to those things and people that show love to you. I remember being bummed out about Valentine’s Day – even when I was in a relationship (single people aren’t the only ones who hate v-day). However, my shift in perspective has yet to leave me feeling alone, bummed out, or simply unloved during the love season.    

I’ll be honest, this year I have little time to enjoy Valentine’s Day. I am extremely busy with a ton of responsibilities. So the only thing I plan on doing for myself is buying flowers (I love flowers) and going to bed early – hopefully. In combination with doing little things for my friends and sending my mom flowers, that is truly enough for me! As a single, I’ve learned what makes me happy. Those things consist of getting sh*t done and making other people happy. So I pose the question, what makes you happy? And how do you plan to show yourself and others love on Valentine’s Day?

I want to be clear that I am in no way demeaning other people’s expressions of love just because it may be different from my own. Love is everywhere and it is a beautiful thing to express. I’m just here to offer a different take on V-Day and how it can be celebrated.

This next message is particularly for singles: During The Love Season, we are to focus on loving ourselves and those that love us. Remember that the grass isn’t always greener on the other side. Too many women (and men) throw themselves into romance because they are afraid of being single, then start making compromises and losing their identity. I won’t do that and neither should you. It takes a strong person to be single in a world that is accustomed to settling with anything just to say they have something. So take time loving yourself and enjoy the process. Focus on being the right person before finding the right person. One day we’ll look up and be in love, but first…choose YOU!

Enjoying The Love Season – Just A Few Ideas:

Spend time connecting with single friends: Check in with your single friends even if it’s via text, call, or Facetime. This day can easily put singles who are actively looking for love, companionship, and intimacy in their feelings.   

Treat yourself: Find a spa that you’ve always wanted to try, by a bath bomb and soak in a hot bubble bath at home, get a wax, take a mini road trip, cook for yourself, or go eat at your favorite restaurant. Do anything that makes you feel good!

Reflect: Spend some time reflecting on how you can love yourself and others better. If we don’t make intentional choices and decisions to love and be loved it becomes easy to find ourselves in toxic and unhealthy situations.

Visit a museum in Houston: Museums in Houston are free on Thursdays! Visit the Houston Museum of African American Culture or the Museum of Natural Science.   

Send heartfelt texts: To your homies, lovers, and friends telling them why you appreciate them and how special they are to you.

Stay off of social media: If you’re using this as a self-care day, then take some time to completely disconnect. Whether you realize it or not social media can make you subconsciously sad, ungrateful, and unconfident.

Go to a comedy show: See what’s happening at the Improv or Joke Joint. If you can’t find anything, get together with some friends and each of you can do your own stand-up comedy set. My friends and I do this all the time and it’s more fun than you could ever imagine!

Find something fun, but cheap, on Groupon: Groupon has so many interesting activities for kids, adults, and families. From visiting a shooting range, to a cooking class, to a painting class you’ll be sure to find something that will interest you.

Visit BookedHTX for the #AFAMExperience: Go feel good about yourself while taking pictures at this photo-op museum in the Montrose area. You can follow their IG page @bookedhtx and get a feel for the photo-ops available. Plan your outfit and go snap pictures in this selfie museum!